R.I.P. Michael Jackson : Short tribute on my blog

I'm still shocked. Michael was an idol, my idol and many of my friends would say the same thing. He will be missed tremendously.
I found out when it was still speculation, my mum and I was listening on 1010wins, and they said TMZ reported that he was dead first. He basically had cardiac arrest, then they claimed he was in a coma, then they confirmed his passing.
He was... Michael, I mean what can you say. All these wannabe new comers, want to be him, and we're inspired by him, but they can never be Michael. He was our modern day Hendrix for the pop world.
Life is so short... you never know. You have to live each day as your last. And people need to stop hurting people and just appreciate one another, no one knows when our time will come. In the end, money and fame and all of that doesn't matter.
I know I will miss him, and I know many others will as well. May his soul rest in peace.
Rest In eternal Peace Michael...
R.I.P. Farrah Fawcet...
(They are so chillin' in Heaven right now)
xoxo Amelia

Only me...

Hey guys, I made a couple of beauty videos today, but my mac is acting weird. Photobooth is not recording my voice, and I can't do a voice over because imovie won't accept the video. Ugh. annoying. But that is that. 
I need to address a matter because I dont think people comprehend or they dont want to understand, I dont know. But when I am angry or put into a compromising situation I get mad, livid, BEYOND pissed. And I vent. I am a writer, so the way I obviously vent out my emotions is by writing. I can't tell you how many journals I keep, and why I have blogs. I hate the fact that yea a bunch of people I don't know reads them. But I just love writing, and I like html and all of that. So I figure why not. Now... for the past year I have gone through.... alot of pain and emotional dysfunction. That's putting it mildly. When I vent out my emotions I write alot of stuff, I curse alot. But then I think about the situation and you know what I move on. Sometimes, especially one particular incident, I may and did forget the comment I placed upon a certain area. And I dont judge people, I try my best not to. But when someone pushes something in my face, especially shit I dont like, I will react in a bitchy way. I may be skinny but dont fuck with me. but honesty I may forget about these comments and a year later I am repremanded for them. But I in no way mean harm. Im not that type of person. But seriously, people have called me much MUCH worse, I have been called a slut bitch whore etc etc etc. The list goes on. And for me to just say I fucking hate someone, and get repremanded the way I was, is not fair. I don't think thats write. I say my sorries, and I truly mean them. But I get attacked, for an opinion I had a year ago, and all I say is that I hate the person... and then at the end I say I wanted to off myself. I dont get it. Maybe its just me. It's not important anyway, nothing I ever think or say is important. 

Anyway, I spoke to A.H. tonight, hes so sweet. He's the sweetest guy I ever met, seriously.  He's doesnt have all the bullshit, he doesnt have to prove himself. He's just real. And he doent promise things he cant keep. I told him not to say that he wont hurt me. I can't take another man saying, "I wont hurt you", because they always do. He's coming back in the city next week, I cant wait to see him. I only date older men like I said before. so he's significantly older than me, he's 34. Which isn't bad. ces is 32, ten years older than me. So A.H. is twelve years older, and he doesnt care about the whole age shit. I love that. I mean age is nothing but a number and anyone that focuses on that instead of the person, or focuses on distance instead of the person, is just looking for excuses. He's very supportive, thus far. we'll see how it goes. 
Well that's it my lovelys, ttyl . PEACE. ^.^

Retail Therapy...

Past few weeks I have been bad, I have brought so much crap lol not even funny. Makeup, coach bags, bcbg outfits, etc. It helps the first few minutes but then you pay for it later. SO its temporary relief then the madness comes again lol.

THe upcoming fall mac collections sound freaking fantastic. Omg I can't wait for the 24th, the black collection comes out. With black lipstick black lipgloss, etc. And then theres the mac make up art cosmetics collection, looks awesome. So much money to spend lmao. Can't wait. hehe.

Guys, guys, guys. drama drama drama. Men are so full of it sometimes. So I've been going out with this guy for a few weeks now. I like him, he likes me... alot. It's cool, he wants to call me his gf, So Im like cool. lol yay. He's nice, sweet. He's consistent with the feelings unlike any other guy Ive liked. He doesn't change on me, well at least NOT YET. I only date older men so yeaa. But with other men, drama galore. Mike has this thing that he thinks I want to be his woman. I dont. Not in my lifetime. He has his problems, God only knows I have my fucked up shit. I realllly do not need someone that has more problems than me, I'll end up going over the bridge.

My cat is evil sometimes, but he looks like an angle when he sleeps lol.

OoO I can't wait till I go on vaca lol. I'm going to Vegas, St. Croix, and probably Aus. like around the end of summer, early fall. YAY. Depends on how everything pans out, my friend natasha is coming with me to Aus. And Amanda and steph and Maricon are going to vegas. My mum and me are going to santa cruz (st. croix). YAY. heh
That's it for now, luv ya guys. Peace.

xoxo Amelia